( He isn't expecting it. It shows in the way his gaze snaps Gojo's way, eyes wide, face devoid of colour. Geto's own view of things is already so twisted up, so ensnared in his own ill-feeling that every time they speak he's somehow just waiting for the other sorcerer to fully denounce him. Half of him even wants it, because whatever they were is a wound that has never fully healed. At least if he was told he was hated then there would be a finality to it.
But no, trust Gojo fucking Satoru to circumvent expectations.
The wave of following feeling closes over his throat, Geto has to lift a hand, press it over his eyes. He's not crying, that's foolish. But his eyes feel wet and he has to furiously blink against the tide of all that emotion, so much so that when he finally speaks his voice is thick and cloying. ) Fuck, you -. ( A breath, ragged. ) Who said you could be reasonable?
( Panic builds like it always does, dull and frantic. Geto hunches over himself, the arm holding the bottle wrapping around his chest. Underneath the thin fabric he can feel scar tissue and he digs his thumb in to ground himself. )
It all seems so simple to you, doesn't it? That I can just get up after all of this and keep going. But I don't have anything left, Satoru, there's no cause here, I'll never see my family again, and even if they'd want me to keep living, what am I living for? Going back on my principles? The things that I've done? I don't know how to be here.
( The fire leaves just as quickly, immediately extinguished and Geto pulls a face, drinks again, petulant and stupid. ) And I don't get to have you back. That's not how this works.
no subject
But no, trust Gojo fucking Satoru to circumvent expectations.
The wave of following feeling closes over his throat, Geto has to lift a hand, press it over his eyes. He's not crying, that's foolish. But his eyes feel wet and he has to furiously blink against the tide of all that emotion, so much so that when he finally speaks his voice is thick and cloying. ) Fuck, you -. ( A breath, ragged. ) Who said you could be reasonable?
( Panic builds like it always does, dull and frantic. Geto hunches over himself, the arm holding the bottle wrapping around his chest. Underneath the thin fabric he can feel scar tissue and he digs his thumb in to ground himself. )
It all seems so simple to you, doesn't it? That I can just get up after all of this and keep going. But I don't have anything left, Satoru, there's no cause here, I'll never see my family again, and even if they'd want me to keep living, what am I living for? Going back on my principles? The things that I've done? I don't know how to be here.
( The fire leaves just as quickly, immediately extinguished and Geto pulls a face, drinks again, petulant and stupid. ) And I don't get to have you back. That's not how this works.