[At Dan Heng's insistence, Jamie tries to stop catastrophizing and calm himself, focusing again on the other's voice to pull his mind away from the torrent of worst-case scenarios threatening to flood his thoughts. He draws in one shaky breath, then two, and though his heart still feels like a frightened animal ready to start running for its life again he feels a little more calm, if embarrassed for losing his composure.]
I get it, but that's...that's what I do. Worry about stuff like this. That's my job back home, because I'm the strategist, and if I don't worry about it nobody will. My team counts on me knowing how to deal with problems because I'm supposed to direct them in battle and make sure they don't get hurt.
And that - that was just a game, what we did back home. They weren't fights like this, where people could die. That just - makes everything so much worse. I feel like I can't...not stress out about it.
[He does try not to succumb to another doom spiral, despite his words, and instead takes another pull from his water bottle. His hands haven't stopped shaking, instead seem to be trembling even more badly, from dread as much as muscle fatigue.
Dan Heng's voice echo in his ears, a phrase rattling around in his brain like a pebble in a tin can - I imagine it’s difficult to be separated from the team you’d been working with. It's undeniably true; Jamie misses his team desperately, and as much as he wishes they were here to fight with him he's glad they're not, that they're safe at home where they belong instead of fighting gigantic nightmare monsters.
Thinking about them makes his throat tighten and his eyes burn and he shifts away from his companion, as surreptitiously as he can, to hide it. He does notice, though, how Dan Heng produces another bottle of water from nowhere, and he comments on it as much to distract them both from his own distress as out of actual curiosity.]
...that's a pretty handy skill. Between that and knowing how to fight, makes sense why LILITH decided you'd be useful in all this.
i am so sorry for my slowness agh
I get it, but that's...that's what I do. Worry about stuff like this. That's my job back home, because I'm the strategist, and if I don't worry about it nobody will. My team counts on me knowing how to deal with problems because I'm supposed to direct them in battle and make sure they don't get hurt.
And that - that was just a game, what we did back home. They weren't fights like this, where people could die. That just - makes everything so much worse. I feel like I can't...not stress out about it.
[He does try not to succumb to another doom spiral, despite his words, and instead takes another pull from his water bottle. His hands haven't stopped shaking, instead seem to be trembling even more badly, from dread as much as muscle fatigue.
Dan Heng's voice echo in his ears, a phrase rattling around in his brain like a pebble in a tin can - I imagine it’s difficult to be separated from the team you’d been working with. It's undeniably true; Jamie misses his team desperately, and as much as he wishes they were here to fight with him he's glad they're not, that they're safe at home where they belong instead of fighting gigantic nightmare monsters.
Thinking about them makes his throat tighten and his eyes burn and he shifts away from his companion, as surreptitiously as he can, to hide it. He does notice, though, how Dan Heng produces another bottle of water from nowhere, and he comments on it as much to distract them both from his own distress as out of actual curiosity.]
...that's a pretty handy skill. Between that and knowing how to fight, makes sense why LILITH decided you'd be useful in all this.